Sexual Health
How to discuss sexuality with your teen
My aunt and uncle decided that their 14-year-old daughter was too young for a frank discussion about sex and sexuality. Then they discovered that her best friend, who is only a few weeks younger, was pregnant. That’s the mistake many parents make - assuming that it is always "too soon" to talk about sex with their teens. By the time they realize their mistake, it may be too late.
Advertiser Links
With me, my parents waited until I was already sexually active, and until they knew for sure, before beginning to open the lines of communication. That’s another mistake that some parents make. Teens who become sexually active without being taught the proper precautions are opening themselves to a host of problems and issues in the future, including pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. How, then, do you discuss sex and sexuality with your teen?
Start early, and allow your child to take sex education classes if they are offered at their school. My elementary school offered a class in the sixth grade, and some parents felt it was too early and their children were too young, so they refused to let them attend. Unfortunately, some of those same classmates began experimenting sexually in junior high. When a child expresses interest in or questions sexuality, then it is time to begin talking with them.
Seek outside help. If you feel embarrassed, just think of how your teen must feel. My own talk with my parents was mortifying, and they felt just the same way because they were unprepared. Think about what questions your teen might have, and try to find answers before talking with them.
Don’t shout. You might discover that your teen is already sexually active, and shouting or forbidding them to continue the activity is going to have just the opposite effect. Teens are already feeling rebellious, so even if you try to make sex seem "dirty" or wrong, it will make them all the more interested in trying it. Explain the dangers and the risks they are taking, and explain that you wish they would wait, instead of yelling and simply telling them not to have sex.
Explain to your teen about birth control, and ask them to be honest with you about their possible need for birth control. Though you might feel uncomfortable taking your daughter to a doctor for the birth control pill or buying your young son condoms, it is one of the most important things you can do for a sexually active teen.
Remember that teens often report that their parents have the most influence on their sexual decisions. Teaching you teen about sexuality and the potential risks and dangers associated with sexual activity can help your relationship and save your teen a lot of pain in the future.
| Write A Comment |
Read Comments
im only thirteen but there is this guy that im dating and he said that we should have sex and i just dont no if im ready....PLZ HELP ME I DONT NO WHAT TO DO OR SAY!!!
Posted on 3/18/2010 11:48:00 PM by Anonymous
Having sex at 11 is so very wrong you are still a child! Please wait, trust me. Enjoy your childhood, don't rush things.
Posted on 3/10/2010 8:22:00 PM by Anonymous
So i've been reading some of your comment and i think that sex is a beautiful thing but please wait. Aside from a little pleasure it is not that its cracked up to be. I am a 16 year old male from chicago and I recently almost got my girlfriend, who is now my ex, pregnant . There are alot of boys who only want yo u for your bodies but there are also so good ones who really just want you but im going to beg you to keep your virginity and if that is too much use a condom. There are to many STD's running around so just please be safe.
Posted on 2/27/2010 9:29:00 AM by Anonymous
if any girls need to talk email me at ashley_229@live.com
i have been there and i can help you as much as i can i was 13 when i first had sex with my first boyfriend who had a lot more experince than i did but we are still together and i got pregnant on my first time which was bad and now im 16 with 2 kids i just had my other baby about 4 months ago please dont be shy
Posted on 2/16/2010 11:53:00 PM by Anonymous
I personally don't think it is okay to have sex at 11 but i think that it is really important that you wait for the right person to have sex with because i know from experience i am a young mom and i had my first baby at 13 i know right i was way to young but it was my first time but the worst part about it is that i didn't know any better. I think that people should wait to have sex because i am learning the hard way i am 16 years old and i have 2 beautiful daughters i would do anything for. I was reading these comments and its just surprising i guess but trust me young people its okay to wait even if you feel like everyone else is doing it, they are probably not. so wait it should be special when it happens
Posted on 2/16/2010 11:32:00 PM by Anonymous
is it ok to have sex when you ae 11 ?
Posted on 2/7/2010 2:31:00 AM by Anonymous
How about teaching your kids not to have sex until they are married, while actually raising them instead of letting the television, video games, other kids, schools, teachers, entertainers, etc. raise them? It worked for all six of my children.
Posted on 1/30/2010 8:58:00 PM by Anonymous
i had safe sex but now i feel like my stomach is getting bigger..am i pregnant?
Posted on 1/11/2010 8:24:00 PM by Anonymous
i really wanna have sex. could a 13year old do that
Posted on 1/6/2010 1:12:00 AM by Anonymous
seriously i been reading some of dese comments and like.... i understand how u feel some of u want to see how sex feels and u might want to have sex but u have to understand that goin through puberty your gonna want to do alot of things dont mean your going to do it. somedays u might want to scream but dat dosnt mean your gonna do that . you might even want to walk up to a boy and kiss them dat dosnt mean your gonna do it ... u ahve to learn how to control your feeling your gonna want to do alot of things and life like punchin some 1 in da face but u HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO CONTROL YOUR FEELINGS...
Posted on 1/3/2010 8:58:00 PM by Anonymous
sex shouldnt be a big rush actually it shouldnt be a big think to you it really isnt a big thingg like for real............ im about the same age as most of da ppl dats askin the questions ..... oh and why r u ppl on websites askin questions dont u have a mom or dadd but anway if u dont want to talk 2 them go to google.com and ask question there and maybe that website will answer your question but this website ......... and its better for u 2 ask some1 in your family maybe a older cousin or somethin
Posted on 1/3/2010 8:50:00 PM by Anonymous
to the 13 year old boy that's gay it's not bad at all to have sex with a guy im a female in college and my younger stepbrother is gay i found out by going on his computer and his backround is him and is boyfriend and i caught video's of him having sex with a guy and i found alot of crap in his room. So if u want people searching through ur room i suggest just telling ur dad 1st then have a talk with both parents and see what they say!!!
(i just went on his comp cuz i had to check my facebook and he said it was okay)
Posted on 11/29/2009 3:31:00 PM by Anonymous
to all 14 year old kids having sex....speaking from experience try to wait until u r a bit older because i bet if you look back the boy u lost ur virginity too u r not with them anymore and to the lil girl talking about sex is sex its not thier all types of diseases out in the world... and if ur not careful you will end up like me with HIV....now i used to think just like u all and that was just 1year ago im only 15 so if there is anything i could say from my expereince try to wait....because i probably never see myself having kids or living to see myself get a good job i probably dont even live to see thirty all over 15 minutes of sex so it is a big deal....i wish i had protected myself and loved myself a little more....so so me one favor and love ur self .....wrap it up and use all kinds of precautions because it only takes one time to catch any STD
Posted on 11/23/2009 10:20:00 PM by Anonymous
i am 16 & if you want sex even at a young age you should at least wait until you are in love. with anyone else you wont get the full experience out of it. it really is more amazing if you wait for the right guy.
Posted on 11/15/2009 8:54:00 PM by Anonymous
as a teen i can honestly say sex is nothing to rush for yu can wait. if yu dont have medifaide or a home doctor its best yu dont because yu woule be worried about stds nd unplanned pregencies. there have been several occasions where i thought i was pregnant nd it was hard for me to tell my mother.so jus becarful nd make good decisions.
Posted on 10/27/2009 10:41:00 PM by Anonymous
i really want to have sex but im 12, adnd want to when im 13. im friends with mostly all guys and im not postive if i were to get drunk they would watch out for me, atlease 1 or 2 would but the others im not shure about and i want to go on the pill but dont know how to as my mom any advice?
Posted on 10/22/2009 3:10:00 PM by Anonymous
hey rite now im a 14 year old girl, i started having sex in grade 4 and started to drink in grade 5. when i was in grade six i got drunk with a group of guys, i remember passing out eventually, when i woke up it was still a bit black and white, what i do remember is 2 guys holding me down, one having sex with me 2 shouting them on, and one guy taping the whole thing. at first i thought o yeah this feels real good so i lay back and enjoyed the moment, then i remember stamding up and getting layed down on my side, all i know is that the guys kept taking turns having sex with me in 2different spots, i started to get into the whole groove and i started to yell and hololer with the guys, i thought i was enjoying myself, later on when the guys left, iremember them all telling me that i was the best they ever had, i felt real good, until later that day. i started to feel really sick too my stomach, so i wondered what was wrong, then i remembered last nite, i freaked right out thinking that i was pregnant. i immediatley grabbed my wallet and ran to the store, when i payed for the pregnancy test the clerk looked at me like i was crazy. i remember taking the test, and seeing positive. i started to worry. i kept it a secret from my mom for 3 or 4 months then she thought i was starting to look bigg. i told her what happened and she almost had a heart attck, i ended up keeping the baby, then i found some parents looking to adopt, i gave them my child. that was the most terrifying thing that ever happened to me. so it is really important to know the safetys and dangers in sex make sure your protected and make sure it is with someone you love. i was a mom in grade 6, and that thought still haunts me , now as im 14 i still have sex, but i make sure its safe, i do not want the same thing to happen to me again. and im sure you dont either be safe or suffer the consequences, take it from someone who found at a very young age. dont make the same mistake i did. iloveyou all verymuch.
Posted on 10/9/2009 12:55:00 PM by Anonymous
this is really stupid, sex is sex with or without precautions, taking all those precautions makes it slower and way more boring take it from someone who know, ive been having sex since grade5 and had never heard the talk and i have had no problems this is for prople who care and most people dont
josafina age 14
Posted on 10/9/2009 12:35:00 PM by Anonymous
Sex is a big deal especially your first time and it's great people are researching but you shouldn't be getting advice online from strangers who don't know you personally. There's no proper age to have sex but It should be win someone you are absolutely positive you care anbout and trustwho will be there if somethin bad does happen. Sex is great but don't rush. No matter what people say it does make a huge difference in your life. Don't choose based on what other people will think base it on what you will think of yourself.
Posted on 8/17/2009 1:40:00 AM by Anonymous
this is a great resource for teens who are courious but are afraid to ask their parents!
Posted on 8/7/2009 4:06:00 AM by Anonymous
To the sexually active teens out there. What is your hurry to grow up? Think about your future. I understand the raging hormones and was tempted to have sex when I was a teen but decided I wasn't ready. However, my date was and it nearly became a case of rape.
My sister got pregnant at 17 and my parents were furious. She ended up missing out on a lot of things because she had to take care of a baby. She learned a hard lesson. It's not as if she wasn't educated on the risks-Mom gave us the talk when we were about to start our period and we took sex-ed at school. After she told the father, he wanted nothing to do with her-which happens a lot. It takes two to tango. If you feel mature enough to have sex then take the responsibility. If you think that wearing a condom or using birth control kills the mood, think about what a crying baby with a dirty diaper will do.
Enjoy your teen years because you will never get them back. I'm glad I waited.
Posted on 8/5/2009 1:48:00 PM by Anonymous
from what i've heard ,birth contrl really isnt that effective on teen girls, that its still a risk due to their high fertiity. compared to older women.
Posted on 7/12/2009 2:54:00 AM by Anonymous
you'll know when youre in love.when you can trust, hold on to and believe in the person...if you cant talk to your parents? talk to an older sibling or a couzin. Someone with good intentions and know how to say no...............if youve never used a tampon b4 yeah sex miight hurt the first time because theres some lining thingy that has to be broken..but if you use tampons no it shouldnt hurt...just be careful...use protection and make sure you really love the person....make sure that the other one doesnt carry a disease...good luck....Sammmy
Posted on 7/2/2009 2:22:00 PM by Anonymous
hi im 15 how do you know if your ready to have sex?
Posted on 6/30/2009 12:22:00 PM by Anonymous
what is this web site about
Posted on 6/14/2009 9:07:00 PM by Anonymous
my mom and i dont have a good relation ship. i would not tell her i was sexuly active. who could i tell???
Posted on 6/4/2009 10:41:00 PM
by teengirl1
is it ok to get birth control even thow your not sexuly active
Posted on 6/3/2009 9:42:00 PM by Anonymous
does sex hurt? In school i see a lot of pregnant girls and i do wonder what sex is like. My parents don't really talk about it much. I am tempted to try it, but after reading all these comments....im a bit hesitant.
Posted on 5/28/2009 3:05:00 AM by Anonymous
You have to have parent present when you get the birth control but as long as your 16 or older then you can decide that on your at some doctors offices.
Posted on 5/19/2009 11:13:00 PM by Anonymous
Can a teen girl get birth control without her parent
Posted on 5/9/2009 4:47:00 PM by Anonymous
hi im 15 and my 18 year old boyfriend just invited me to prom and an after party at his beach house. I know he is an amazing guy but I am not ready. How can i turn him down?
Posted on 4/27/2009 6:12:00 PM by Anonymous
what i still dont get to this day is.. for those who have had a preganancy and hid it for 5, 6, 7, 8, and even 9 months.. how is that possible you must have family members that pay you no type of attention.. thats just weird to me that people think they can hide their stomach gettin larger and people not know that they are preganant.. I just dont think thats possible..
Posted on 4/3/2009 8:12:00 PM by Anonymous
Hi im 16 and i had sex with my boyfriend. we have been dating for 9 months and i dont regret having sex with him at all its just hard for me to tell my mother. I had safe sex and my mother has always talked to me about sex. I just want 2 b more careful now that im sexually active and be on the pill. Its hard to tell my mother though that i want to be on the pill now becasue im having sex. But i dont want to end up pregnant at 16 or 17.
Posted on 3/30/2009 10:51:00 PM by Anonymous
To the 16 yr old girl who is pregnant. I know you must be so scared, and I just want you to know you can talk to me. My bestfriend was young like you and her parents did her the same way. Have you thought about what you are going to do about the pregnancy? If you don't want to keep it just remember there are many families out there who would love that child and then later in life when you are ready and have been to college, experienced life, gotten married then you will be ready. I am a labor and delivery nurse and any questions or concerns you have just feel free to ask. God Bless
Posted on 3/17/2009 4:56:00 PM by Anonymous
13 yr olds shouldn't have sex! duh
Posted on 3/10/2009 2:50:00 PM by Anonymous
I think you need to find someone to talk to an get the pain off your chest.. tell someone how you feel ...!!
Posted on 2/26/2009 12:43:00 PM by Anonymous
Hey, Im a 16 year old girl, and i have had bad things happen too me in the past at 14 i got drunk with 3 other guys and just me..... i passed out for a bit and then woke to 2 guys holding me down it was very hard for me too figuar out what was going out bc i kept blacking out..........i know some- what of what they did but it hurts me when i think about it, i never knew that a human bein could hurt u so much " mentally and physical"............ ever since that night i dont knoe how too say no. Everytime i'm with a guy i feel like i have too say yes no mattter what. Ive been having sex for 2 years now and dont know how too stop if some one is out there that can talk too me it wld help me out soo much e-mail me "female/male" Thnks toomuch_ciara_foru@hotmail.com
Posted on 2/16/2009 5:38:00 PM by Anonymous
hi im 16 i found out recently that i am pregnant. i lived full time with my mom and her bf. they no longer let me live there when they found out. i live with ym aunt now i cant see or barely talk to my boyfriend adn the father of my baby. i was forced to switch high schools and the credit sysytem is different so i would also have to stay back a year and not graduate on time because of it im having a hard time. my boyfriend wants me to move in with him but his mom is unstable and drinks alot he tells me hes gunan take the kid when its born and im under so much stress i need a support line or just someone to talk to.
Posted on 2/13/2009 11:24:00 AM by Anonymous
Just a question to the 10 year old. Why did you have sex. And where would you do it so that your parents don't find out?
Posted on 2/13/2009 1:18:00 AM by Anonymous
To the person who posted about this comment corner being used inappropriately... I am curious to know why you think this. How so?
Posted on 2/11/2009 9:07:00 PM by Anonymous
is it normal to have dreams about sex?
Posted on 2/9/2009 8:32:00 PM by Anonymous
I've read through these comments and it looks like this comment corner is being used inappropriately, does anyone else think the same? Not by every person that posts but the majority.
Posted on 2/4/2009 6:24:00 PM by Anonymous
Hi! i'm 12 and barely no about this stuff except what I read in the comments and this site. I have asked my mom about things like this from time to time but she always goes straight to another subject. So i just wnated to know what STD's and condoms are...
Posted on 1/28/2009 9:35:00 PM by Anonymous
I read these comments and i kinda wish my mom and/or dad would give me "the talk" but since they haven't sadly the little i know about STD's is because i read a little about it from a magizine
Posted on 1/28/2009 9:29:00 PM by Anonymous
If you are a teen, and thinking about sex, DON'T DO IT. I terribly regret losing my virginity at 16, and to the boy I lost it to. I was too young and immature to make such an irreversible decision. Even though I had a mother who was very persistant about talking to me about not having sex, I thought I knew everything and did it anyways. Even though I had sex ed, and was a straight-A student, and I knew better (I DID!), I did it anyways. When I was 17, I got careless, and I got pregnant with my daughter. Luckily, my now-husband was and is a wonderful man. This never happens. DON'T DO IT.
Posted on 1/26/2009 10:00:00 PM by Anonymous
I'm a 10 year old and i am 5 weeks pregnant and my mom hasn't talked about sex with me and i dont know how to raise a child or anything.
Posted on 1/26/2009 7:03:00 PM by Anonymous
Im 15 years old and im three months pregnant. My mom always told us if we wanted to talk about sex. I was too scared and thought i could educate myself. I was sexually active with out my mom knowing until we found out i was pregnant she take it the way i thought she was going to take it. Now she's kinda happy that if i do start being sexually active again that birth control and safe sex is needed. Now i know y mothers worry.
Posted on 1/26/2009 1:18:00 PM by Anonymous
To the mother of the 15 y/o girl (who you put on birthcontrol)
Hi im 15 years old n i have been sexually active for 2 years now, i have a 6 month old daughter as well, and my mother does NOT raise her, n so shouldnt you lol, but my mother did not talk to me about sex n i hid my pregnancy for the whole entire 9 months until my water broke, n she respects what i had done, n she wasnt as mad at me as i thought she woulda been, i think she woulda been happier that i had told her instead of showing up with a baby, but hey i was scared
Posted on 1/18/2009 10:33:00 AM by Anonymous
I guess I really am an odd Teen, my parents to this day have not even attempted to have "the talk" with me, I'm 17 with a long time boyfriends of nearly 6 years (including our break ups) and i don't believe his parents had it with him either. yet both of us agreed years ago that we wouldn't go so far as to have sex until after we at least move out if not later, possibly married. If i'm correct it seems as though we will be the only long-time virginal couple graduating from our school this year. In all honesty i do wish my parents would have talk to me about these things but i for one can honestly say that my parents never really influenced my sexual life, or lack there of.
Posted on 1/11/2009 10:05:00 PM by Anonymous
I speak as a teenager:
my mom was open with me about sex and because of that I'm probably smarter than most of the girls in my grade when it comes to being safe.
My boyfriend and I have yet to have sex and that's becuase of the understanding we both have about the consequences it can have. In addition because of the understandings we have I am on birth control and will definetly practice safe sex should we start to practice vaginal sex. It is because my mother was so frank that I am taking so much precaution and am going to remain as such. It really does benefit a child more to be frank about sex.
Posted on 12/29/2008 9:58:00 PM by Anonymous
you shouldn't be having sex at such a young age. it is unhealthy.
Posted on 12/29/2008 7:52:00 PM by Anonymous
hi. i'm 13 and i'm sexually active and i don't know how to tell my parents. they know that im gay, but they don't know i have a 16 year old boyfriend and they definitely don't know we are sexually active. people tell me i shouldn't go out with someone thats so much older but he's really nice and i don't see a problem. we've only had sex twice and i don't see anything wrong with it. the problem is telling my parents.
Posted on 12/29/2008 7:51:00 PM by Anonymous
I am a virgin and its awesome. It is awesome because I know that the waiting is going to be worth it when I find the guy I love and I can give him something I have never given any other guy before. Guys like virgins, no one wants to date someone who is easy and everyone has been with. And never let anyone pressure you into it. If you second thoughts, then you are not ready. Thats okay
Posted on 11/30/2008 1:42:00 PM by Anonymous
Parents do not wait to have the talk with your children. My friends are having sex to get back at there parents for trying to keep them in the dark. It is much better they find out sex from and adult, the from a guy who is going to make it sound great so they do it. As parents you have to let your child know everything that can happen. Don't scare them so they become like nuns or something but it is ok for them to be nervous. Cause they are not ready.
Posted on 11/30/2008 1:39:00 PM by Anonymous
okay. what i want to know is what people think about age differences in relationships? my teacher is always talking about how a twenty four year old shouldn't be in a relationship with a seventeen year old. That there is a huge difference between the ages. Is she right? Or does it not matter? How do you decipher what is wrong and what is right when it comes to age differences?
Posted on 11/21/2008 10:34:00 PM by Anonymous
i'm almost 18 years old and i still have not had sex. i'm the only one out of my group of friends who hasn't. and everyone is always shocked when i tell them that i'm a virgin, but really... it's the best feeling ever. all of my guys friends really like when a girl hasn't had sex before. even guys that have had sex truly respect girls that haven't. i've known two girls my age who have had to get abortions, which is terrible. they're too young! and it's a good feeling knowing that i'm not setting myself up for anything like that. plus, my parents let me have way more freedom (with guys and in general) because they know i'm not going out and having sex. i don't live in a sheltered world and i don't follow any religion that requires - or practices - abstinence until marriage. it's just a choice. and you can still have an amazing relationship as a teenager without having sex. i'm comfortable and confident with who i am and i advise any younger teenage girls to do the same!
Posted on 11/16/2008 2:29:00 PM by Anonymous
great advice!
Posted on 11/13/2008 8:27:00 PM by Anonymous
To the 17 yr old sexually active teen scared to tell parents
1, you cant tell them and they will have a reaction
2. But look at the bright side your on birth control so your doing the responsible thing and i assume your using condoms so keep up the good work
3. If you dont want to tell them then dont your being responsible and if you truly trust your boyfriend then continue
Posted on 11/4/2008 5:35:00 AM by Anonymous
Dear, Mother of 16 yr old posted 10/21/08
You didnt guide wrong as long as you provided her with knowledge about birth control and proper use of condoms and also explained the importance of using both of these. You didn't do anything wrong teenagers arent too different from two year olds. They want to test their limits and define their independence. Dont feel bad because teenagers brains arent always capapble of making fully rational decisions a lot of them act on impulse. What you should do is encourage her to get involved in other things. Bring up all the benefits she could reap by waiting to have sex . Even is she has already had sex its not to late to be celabate or . Also make sure she knows that chosing who and who not to have sex with is important also you dont want her to regret anything. Find out about her self esteem and body image.Find out if she feels pressured all of these things can give you a better insight as to why she doesnt want to wait
Posted on 11/4/2008 5:30:00 AM by Anonymous
Hi, i'm a mother of a 13 month old little girl, and i'm expecting my second, i'm barelly 17 years old. Both my kids, have different fathers, the father of my 13 month old walked out on us when i was three months pregnant with her, and my new boyfriend is raising her as if she were his own. I am also in my senior year of high school, and plan on graduating early. but its still harder than ever to do. financially it really sucks, but i do have a supportive family, and a boyfriend who loves and cares for my daughter, me, and our one on the way.
Posted on 10/27/2008 8:56:00 PM by Anonymous
Hello I'm a Mom of a 16yr old. I just found that that she had sex with her boyfriend. What I don't understand is that everyone says we should talk to our teenagers about sex, but htey still wont talk to us and, I did talk to both my 16yr old & 13yr old. I told my daughter that if she was even thinking about we need to take percation, but she said no, im not I'm going to wai. Finally when I found out I confronted both of them and they both denied it. She thinks I'm doing this to break them up. I don't think I guided wrong, but in the back of my mind I ask myself what didn't I do? I'm very open with my kids, but that wasn't enough.
Posted on 10/21/2008 3:40:00 PM by Anonymous
Email me at alyshia.benjamin@gmail.com or at alyshia.benjamin@yahoo.com if you need someone to talk to if you are scared. I totally understand. I gave birth to a set of twins when i was 13 and it's tough.
Posted on 10/21/2008 1:41:00 PM by Anonymous
Just because your freinds are doing it or your mom or dad did it when they were your age, doesn't mean that you should have sex to. Sex is for love not lust. Be careful and safe if you plan on participating in sexual activity. Seriously. My mom thinks that I have sex and she totally doesn't trust me. And it sucks. So imagine if you actually were having sex. That totally sucks. - Alyshia Benjamin
Posted on 10/21/2008 1:39:00 PM by Anonymous
Totally agree. Some teenage girls just have sex under peer pressure and some do it to please their peers. But one thing I have to say is that you shouldn't do it until you are totally ready. No lie. Having a baby isn't the only negative effect of having sex. You could get HIV/AIDS, STDs, and you could, if pregnant, have problems giving birth. Having sex shoult be about love and not lust. So if you're not ready, then don't do it. -Alyshia Benjamin
Posted on 10/21/2008 1:35:00 PM by Anonymous
I'm 17 and begin having sex with my boyfriend,of 3 years now,when I was 15.I really regret it,so to you younger girls thinking about it,all I can say to you is think twice.I had to find out about sex on my own.Nobody ever gave me the 'sex talk'.I hope you make the right decision and wait until your married.
Posted on 10/7/2008 4:02:00 PM by Anonymous
I was doing a little research on the computer when I came upon this site.I am a mom of 3 children, two boys and a girl. I made it a point to talk to them early on especially since I have a nursing background. I figured if I can't talk to my kids than who can. Both my boys got married last year. They were virgins when they got married as were their wives. They have wonderful relationships. My daughter is dating a great young man and both are going to wait to have sex until they are married. It is possible to get through your teen years without having sex. Practising abstinence is so freeing. You never have to worry about getting pregnant or getting an STD. You can enjoy your teen years without all that pressure to have sex. If you meet someone who really cares about you they will never pressure you into doing something you really don't want to do. We are all capable of having self control. When you see how STD's have become epidemic it only makes sense to protect yourself. Go out and enjoy those teen years. They are over much too fast. Living with regrets is no fun at all.
Posted on 10/2/2008 11:46:00 PM by Anonymous
I am fourteen years old and i started having sex at about the age thirteen. I saw it before as a way to get attention, and a way to be loved. It is now a year later and I know more than I did when I was younger. I appreciate my mother for having the "sex talk" with me when i was young. She taught me how to use protection and where I could get it. Use protection and don't be embarrassed to ask your parents or anyone for help, because it can be too late!!!!:)
Posted on 9/27/2008 3:48:00 PM by Anonymous
Im 14 and in highschool and there are A LOT of students who have had sex and a LOT of peer pressure and i just want to say to parents that once your child even shows interest in having a crush START TALKING TO THEM!!!!! it is NEVER too soon to talk to your kids. my mom is like that and i HATE it! i would rather have the imbarrasing talks than her say im too young. so what i do is look it up on the computer or ask a freind and a LOT of times they are wrong and i dont know the truth. luckly i have a youth paster who i can talk to. = ) but really parents TALK!!!!
Posted on 9/26/2008 6:02:00 PM by Anonymous
I put my 15 year old on birth control when I found out she had fondled a boy's penis. She had not had intercourse, but that was enough to convince me it was time. I have been firm with her that birth control is NOT A LICENSE to have sex! It is simply extra insurance that I won't have to raise my own grandchildren (please GOD I pray I don't!!!!!)
Posted on 9/16/2008 11:58:00 AM by Anonymous
How young is to young for BirthControl? My daughter was presribed it for acne and she is 13 1/2. Idont knowwheather or not to give it to her. Help
Posted on 9/14/2008 1:25:00 PM by Anonymous
Sex is not a part of your parent or grant parent have to teach you. You should know it by yourself and protected it from your perspective. No, one can protected you unless you do it to yourself, You are the one who know when and where you are ready to have sex. Sex is a natural thing and not your parent or grant parent give to you,
Posted on 9/11/2008 9:00:00 PM by Anonymous
i am 15 years old and my boyfriend and I are thinking about haveing sex for the first time (im a virgin and he's not). I am a lil scared to do it because i have had some bad experiances. But one the other hand i want to. I know how to be safe and use birth control and condoms... my sister is going to help me get the pill or the shot. But i wanted to know some other peoples thoughts first so please help me and e-mail me at jmkilby3@msn.com
Posted on 9/10/2008 11:09:00 PM by Anonymous
im 15 and i went to a school were lots of girls were get pregnant and two of my friends that where freshmens at the time got pregnant but they didnt care and in the other grades there where lots of girls to in the school 5% o fthe girls all ready one or more kids!!!
Posted on 9/10/2008 10:20:00 PM by Anonymous
hi , i'm 17 years old and I'am a sexually active teen. I'am already on birth control, but i was on birth control before i even started thinking about sex. Though , I made it almost two years with my boyfriend before we became sexually active. I'am an A student and so is my boyfriend, and we both want to tell our parents. But we both are very scared and don't know how to coonfront them about it. The only thing we hear from our parents , are little comments about how bright our futures are , and how leaving for college is going to be a great experience and how having sex could just wipeout our dreams of becoming someone in the world. We want to tell them, but whenever i even lean towards the word sex, the automatically switch the topic and just say "your too young , don't make that mistake". I want to tell them i just don't know how to.
Posted on 9/2/2008 10:05:00 PM by Anonymous
I am fourteen and I totally agree. But with something to ad from my past experiences. DO NOT GET DRUNK!!!!!! Yep I did "it". On accident, of course. I went to my boyfriend's friend's house and I had a couple Caronas cuz I was mad at my parents for not letting me have just a little taste of Carona. Then a couple more and a couple more. Till the word "tipsy" just does not cut it. Then my "ex" now, "got lucky".
Posted on 9/2/2008 3:33:00 PM by Anonymous
I am a parent of a 14-year-old girl. Oh God, I can't believe that sentence just came from me. But the reality is that it takes a community of people to enforce abstinence for teenagers. I am and always have been open about sex with my children. We have discussed the need and reason for abstinence, the cause of childbirth, and the use of different methods of protection for YEARS. Unfortunately, that did not stop my child from having sex and becoming pregnant. Moreover, after many conversations with my pregnant teen I found that PEERS are more influential than parents will ever be. Talking about sex with your child definitely helps and I still encourage it greatly but the realty I found (the hard way) is the FRIEND’S the child keeps is stronger at encouraging/ discouraging sex than parents. I will defiantly pay more attention to her friends, I will listen carefully to conversations and try to distinguish positive and negative sex talk amongst them and then talk to her afterwards and even keep her from hanging around them if I have to .....And I encourage ALL parents to do so.
In the end, I have to look at my child and know I failed her. I failed her. Her life will forever be scarred. Forever damaged. She will carry this with her always, no matter what I say to comfort or guide her. What upsets me most is that now, now that she is pregnant SHE HAS NO FRIENDS just her parents!
Posted on 8/22/2008 10:44:00 AM by Anonymous
It's funny how I'm reading all these comments from teens strongly recommending that parents be more open with their teens and talk to them about sex. Well, I am one of those parents and my 15 years old daughter and I talk about it a lot because she is curious and I am very straightforward with her. She recently engaged in intercourse without protection and now her period is late and she is wondering if she is may be pregnant. What gets me is that she is an A student in school and she studied sex education in school and yet she still went ahead and had unprotected sex. I just don`t understand. If she is not pregnant this time, my daughter, her boyfriend and I and my husband will sit down and have one serious talk.
Posted on 8/2/2008 11:25:00 AM by Anonymous
i look at it as when im 'ready for a baby' im ready to have sex. my mom isnt the super mom who talks about sex and STD's and all that. if i dont have a question shes not blurting it out. for instance when i started my period she said 'you wanna use pads or tampons?' and that was the end of it. i think im way too young to have sex, and im 14.
Posted on 7/31/2008 12:07:00 PM by Anonymous
I agree with the article. I'm 14 years old and my parents faintly talk to me about sex, but I had two sex ed. teachers, one in 6th and 7th grade, and I learned most of my stuff from them. I think that teens should think about the consequences of sex before doing it or they can risk their own lives. In my school, there are no pregnant girls. Just wanted to add that.
Posted on 6/26/2008 5:13:00 PM by Anonymous
wow to the comment about pulling out, i hope you know that doesn't work!!! there is pre-ejaculation secretion, so sperm can still enter the woman, and get her pregnant! please do use that as your only way of birth-control, because it wont work! also just because someone looks like they are clean doesn't mean they cannot transmit and STD to you! so you must be very careful who you have sexual contact with!
and if it hurts when you pee, you probably have a urinary tract infection.if you don't see a doctor it could spread to your kidneys and get VERY bad. you must go to a doctor. even if it is a walk in clinic. even if you are not 18 they do not have to tell your parents, but you MUST get medication for it before it spreads.
Posted on 6/11/2008 11:00:00 PM by Anonymous
This world is definitely a crazy place. I personally think the scariest part of ppl having sex, espically adolescents. Is STI/STD's!!!!!!! I know several ppl that have aids and a couple w/ HPV- and its is just nasty, b/c the ones w// HPV don't even care, they continue being sexually active, spreading it to eventually millions of ppl. Teenagers really need to know the consquences of having sex, there are so many outcomes, and honestly getting pregnant is the least of their worries. I would definitely rather have a gift of a baby than a disease that I am stuck w/ FOREVER!!! Some STD's go away- But there are Alot Thet DON'T!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE THINK TWICE AND TALK TO WHOEVER YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH ABOUT SEX. not only could it effect you byt sometimes you may not know that you have a STD until five or ten years down the road, so you may be married w/ two kids and give that disease to the love of ur life.
Posted on 5/28/2008 12:24:00 AM by Anonymous
you should not have sex if you are not ready for it.. If you really love him and you are not ready you should tell him, he would understand..
Posted on 5/5/2008 10:36:00 AM by Anonymous
I would like to add to this conversation by saying that teens ARE sexually active, they are. When did you first experience sexual activity? It is difficult for parents to deal with, but alas we must. I am a Special Education teacher in a High School and I do see the effects of poor education, both at school and at home, when it comes to Sex Ed. We now have 12 year olds that are sexually active, we do have pre-teens that are getting pregnant and we have pre-teens that need our help. We need to explain to our daughters and sons what happens when people engage in sexual activities. We just do! The young people of today will be the people that decide our future so it is up to us to ensure that they are prepared for it. If we don't then how do we expoect them to be prepared for the tougher choices that they will make?
Posted on 4/22/2008 1:12:00 AM by Anonymous
Speak Out about it don't be scared but don't have sex and if you do you will not be able to take it back.
Posted on 2/17/2008 4:22:00 PM by Anonymous
Hi I'm Francis I am 13 years old I think parents should talk to their daughters or sons because some kids won't just go right up and ask about sex they might be scared that you might get mad so parents out there reading this talk to your child make the right decision tell them about sex whether they like it or not.
Posted on 2/17/2008 4:16:00 PM by Anonymous
it is important for a parent to talk to their kids about sex! if they dont their kids will wonder what it is and maby do it! if their are teenagers who are pregnant right now they should take care of the baby and see the concequences they go through. just stay absinece. and parents: talk to your kids and let them know these things! EVEN THOUGH YOU THINK IT'S TOO SOON!
Posted on 2/6/2008 5:38:00 PM by Anonymous
I'm 21 y/o. My parents never talked to me about sex beyond "Don't do it" I was lucky enough to have a very blunt, open and honest sex ed techer in 7th grade. What I learned from her stuck. I now have a six month old little girl who is completely the love of mine and her fathers life. I am very blessed to have such great experience come from such a scary time. I found this website researching places that help single and teen moms in Columbus, Ohio, so far my search has found nothing, so if any one knows of anyplace or would just like to talk, my e-mail is KFabbro21@yahoo.com. I am trying to find a place where I can help young woman who are going through what i went threw.
Posted on 1/31/2008 1:00:00 PM by Anonymous
im 16 and i mostly found about sex on my own. my parents didnt want to tell. and that was okay, i trusted other adluts to get information. and i have no desire to be sexually active. i feel that if i make that desicion, then im old enough to have a baby, if their was an accident. best way to not get pregnant, dont have sex. yeah it may suck, cause all your friends are doing it, but a big percentage of the time they end up regretting it. and i want to live my life with no regrets.
Posted on 1/18/2008 9:35:00 AM by Anonymous
I think parents should support there child if they are pregnant they should not push there child away because thats when they need there parents the most
Posted on 1/15/2008 11:16:00 AM by Anonymous
i think that teenagers should not get their licesense till thier about 17 or 18 or even out of school and in thier secound year of collage and you will see more improvement in the rate of acitent in the whole usa and that is my coment .oh yeah about sexual active teens are getting out of control and the poppulation in the usa is growing and it makes no sence for the parents to not help them know the importance of not getting prenate early and if it happens help them get through it and do not kick them out and if you where trough it make sure they don't feel they way u feel cuase it hearts to know thier is no body out thier that can help you and thier is they just don't see it because their to far away to see it.
jada jomhson
age 15
miami,florida
I DARE MAKE A DIFFRENCE!!!!!!!!
Posted on 1/14/2008 10:10:00 AM by Anonymous
Hi I'm Housecup and I'm 16 years old.Here's what I think on this subject.Parents think that 13 year olds are to younge to be talk to about sex.But what they don't know is that there teens have already had and already know about it.So all you parents out there talk to your kids before it's to late because you'll regret it when you find out your teen is pregnant.
Posted on 1/13/2008 8:00:00 PM by Anonymous
Hi I am 16 years old and I believe that if a teenager my age gets pregnant let them try to take care of thier baby and if they can't do it ,I think the parents should try to help their teens out a little bit but don't do the work for them.Because they need to learn all the responsabilities of what it takes to take care of a baby at there age.
Posted on 1/13/2008 7:53:00 PM by Anonymous
the 100% percent way to prevent pregnacy is absitence...and communication is what your family believes in. Too many parnets want to "cool" and get the birth control but did they ever think of the teen having self control
Posted on 1/10/2008 9:58:00 PM by Anonymous