Bed Wetting

Blaming the child for something she cannot help, only does harm. I wet the bed from 7 to 9, and if I could have helped it, I would have! I desperately wanted not to, to the point that I dreamed I woke up and went down the hall to the bathroom, each time thinking "thank goodness I woke up this time!" and then I would go, and wake up in a puddle, and think "oh no, not again!" Since the teachers wouldn't let us get water at the water fountain, nor go to the bathroom, except once per day, I think that had a lot to do with my problem, because I had to learn to live in a state of dehydration during the day, and the kidneys rested during the day, and were active at night, instead of how it should be the reverse. Dehydrating children, expecting them to not need frequent sips of water and frequent potty trips, berating or shaming them, is all very mislead and harmful. Being angry at a child and taking out anger, insisting that they are doing it all on purpose, etc speaks VOLUMES about the PARENT, not the child. And if someone has raised a child that lies, steals, acts out, etc, they need to take a good hard look at the fact that the child was not born lying, stealing, etc. Somebody somewhere, dropped the ball, raising this child, to have those kinds of problems. But it's not hard to imagine someone who could lash out at their own child, externalizing responsibility to the child, and scapegoating to that degree, being unwilling to take any personal responsibility for their children's problems. Whoever it was who blamed her young child for everything sounds like one immature parent, who needs to grow up and learn to be the adult, instead of expecting the child to be the one responsible. Punishing her like that is not going to get you what you want. If you are going crazy just because your kid is a kid, you are the one who needs help, and there is no shame in seeking it. There is only shame in continuing to scapegoat your kid.

yall need to let up this is a discussion column to help not to hurt offer words of wisdom not down the parents who are going crazy with this! i have the same situation! an 8 year old who is jealous of a new baby so she does things to get attention she lies cheats steals and on top of that wets the bed! so anyone who has words of wisdom please speak up if u have anything rude to say you can kiss my butt she is not going to be rewarded for wetting herself during the day or at night! hmmm and the thing is she knows what shes doing she does it in school every day that i have the car! we have one car and she waits till her daddys off and i have the car running errands ya she knows wat shes doing so anyone who has something constructive to say please do

I was a bed-wetter as a child. My issue, that I can see, now, that I hadn't seen before - nor see anyone articulating, now - is that I had an overactive imagination. I would dream that I was in the bathroom, and needing to urinate, so I would. Borrowing psychology's idea of "the wound as gift", and aware that society's minimization of the artistic nature (a right-brain activity in a left-brain world), this over-active imagination is NOT a condition to be medicated or therapized-out-of, but an actual tool for later use in life. The imaginative faculty, it was noted by Einstein, is more powerful than the intellect. But our society does not honor, nor hone, imaginative individuals, except those born to the most progressive of parents. While this is certainly too deep a subject for the average layperson to grasp, I do believe it could account for a select section of the population who defy current medical diagnoses, or who don't respond to medication. Rather than build a complex around this as a "condition", disease, or as a defect, it might be more helpful to mature/educate this faculty. Thanks for listening

to the mother with the 8 yr old, that is so sad that you would treat her like that. And maybe if you didnt talk so negative about your child then you could help her get over her wetting the bed problem. And by you saying these things to her or about her now your just hurting her more than helping her. And you are also hurting her self asteem and she will possibly grow up to dislike the person that she has become cause her mom always tells her such negative things about herself. From the sounds of it YOU NEED THE HELP AND NOT HER.

My daughter is 15 years old and is still occasionally wetting the bed, why? She says she doesn't feel it, like...she doesn't feel that she needs to wake up and go to the bathroom. This problem is messing with her social life, and I don't know what to do..Help?

I have to respond to the "mother" (there are other words to describe her. . .) who had an eight-year old bed-wetter. (3/18/09). Very likely SHE is the cause of her daughter's bed-wetting problems. I also had the same problem as a little girl (same age!) and I can tell you the LAST thing I wanted was to wake up in a puddle of urine! And then to be ridiculed and treated like I did it on purpose, was absolutely humiliating! I ended up 'curing' myself later when I read that a great deal of these problems are caused by a weak bladder muscle. I began an exercise of holding it during the daytime a little longer (not TOO long) and eventually, the problem went away. However, the pain of having a mother's rage and ridicule has lasted years (and I'm now 59!) I had no problem with my own little ones and bed-wetting. If they did have an 'accident' it was no big deal. I'd help them get dry and cozy and back to sleep with a kiss and a hug. To that frustrated woman . . .DO YOU REALLY WANT TO RISK THE LOSS OF A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR DAUGHTER BECAUSE OF YOUR OUTRAGEOUS EXPECTATIONS OF HER? Shame on you!

To the "So called Mother" who's post dated 3/18/2009. What school did you graduate from? or did you? As you wrote at the end of your post, "3 Words", Um I beg to differ, that's 7, stupid. Your daughter would not know to clean herself if she has a dirty example to follow, Poor you... that she is not self sufficient. She may very well be peeing the bed for attention, or that she is so worried about making a mistake around you. Man, you must be so perfect, I bet you spit out your kids like bullets, being that you could turn coal into a diamond. What do you do when your baby does not sleep through the night? Don't bother explaining, I'm sure it is similar to your 8 year olds story, let me guess, the little one needs attention. You are posting your weakness as a mother, and I hope by the Grace of God you see one day what you are mentally doing to your 8 yr old. Maybe when your daughter is grown, she'll grow up to be just like you...and when you need assistance as a senior citizen, because your wetting your bed, she'll put you up in a nice old folks home so you can get all the attention you deserve. Best wishes to your children

This is directed to the writer from 3/18/2009. I am a mother of a 4 year old daughter and 11 year old step daughter. My youngest has had a few problem times, she was also potty trained around 18 months old and did great for a fairly long period of time. I returned to school to finish my nursing degree and she began bedwetting. At first I thought it was emotional and was bothered and could not figure out what to do. After time I figured out that while a was trying to keep life as normal as possible while working a full time job and going back to school it was still changing the way her routine went. I noticed that it was on the nights i was in class were the night she had accidents. Come to find out her dad was not being as strict about her drinking right before bed and she was sometimes even going to bed with a drink while I was gone. Listening to what you wrote hurts me to hear. I have never told anyone this before but you are a HORRIBLE MOTHER!!!! If you downgrade your child to her face the way you have here it will be a miracle that she manages to have any selfesteem and turns out decent. And if by chance she does it does not sound like it will be from any help fro you!! I have to love your child unconditionally. You can not trade them in for the new model when you have a new baby! I hope someone can make up for your stupidity and the poor child turns out ok. - K.Davis

I read many of your articles regarding treatment for bedwetting and felt inclined to respond. I work with the Enuresis Treatment Center, which deals only with bedwetting cases. We have treated thousands of children, teenagers, and adult bedwetters, tracking all related symptoms. Our extensive research validates bedwetting as a problem caused by abnormally deep sleep, which doesn’t allow for the bedwetter’s brain and bladder to connect so they can effectively respond to each other. In 99% of all bedwetting cases, (based upon our research of tens of thousands of documented cases) the root cause is sleeping so deeply. It is an inherited deep-sleep disorder that results in bedwetting and more importantly...a non-restorative, unhealthy sleep. This compromised sleep can also result in daytime symptoms; difficulty awakening, fatigue, memory difficulty, irritability, difficulty concentrating. These symptoms can increase as a bedwetter reaches adulthood. There is No guaranteed that someone will outgrow bedwetting, in fact after the age of seven, it is less likely. 1 in 50 teenagers, as well as 3.2 million reported cases of adults still wet the bed. More importantly, if someone were to outgrow this problem, they are then left with a sleep disorder, along with possible challenging symptoms that can no longer be treated. Proper treatment is never simple. Self-treatment programs alone do not address the sleep disorder. Studies show a very high rate of bedwetting relapse with alarms, which gives another failed experience. Bladder capacity and proper muscle strength must also be included during the course of treatment, regardless of the age, to ensure all bedwetting/sleep disorder symptoms’ are completely addressed. Psychological counseling has not been proven to end bedwetting. Neither has hypnosis, chiropractic care or homeopathic remedies. Many medical professionals misinform patients when they blame a small bladder as the cause of bedwetting. It is actually a RESULT of the bedwetting. Moreover, restricting fluids causes further underdevelopment of the bladder, as well as dehydration. If drugs are prescribed or considered to be at all effective, consider that once the drugs are discontinued, the bedwetting will likely resume. Drugs may serve as a temporary fix for a complicated problem, and drugs clearly produce side effects, some as yet unknown. For 34 years, the Enuresis Treatment Center has been ending bedwetting for children, teenagers, and adults who thought there was no hope. Our research and experience has validated that bedwetting can be treated without drugs or invasive surgery. The internet offers a great deal of information about bedwetting, unfortunately most of it is offered from sources that do not specialize in bedwetting treatment. When researching treatment programs, we suggest parents, or an adult seeking help, ask for references and check staff credentials. This will give better insight as to success and lasting results of a bedwetting treatment program. Sincerely, Lyle Danuloff, Ph.D.

My daughter is 8 years old and only started this about 6 mths ago, that on top of being too lazy to clean herself when she goes to the bathroom its a totally annoying and stupid problem. She was trained at 18 mths and had no probs till then. she seems to think she will get positive attention when she does it. She lies, steals and pees to bed since i had a new baby,she gets everything she wants and more... you mean to tell me she is embarassed thats crap... she is jelous and figures that everything should be her. i am starting her on diapers again and she will wear them to school, that will cause embarasment i know but this is not something i will tolerate. She gets all the attention possible from 3 adults now on a regular basis and you mean to tell me that bed wetting is to be tolerated. 3 WORDS... NOT A CHANCE" IN HELL OR ELSEWHERE...

i wet the bed every night and day I were depends night safty they keep me dry

I believe the book is No More Bedwetting by Dr Samuel J.Arnold

goodNites and UnderJams are Diapers (pull-om) just like the kind You either pin or tape on a bedwetting child at night. Restricting or halting fluid intake betweet after supper and bed time causes the child who bedwets to think there`s something wrong with that[ bedwetting]: That`s not true, We all grow at our own pace; upto and including various organs, tissues and muscles[ kidneys,bladder,bladder capacity, fluid retention, etc.] some faster or slower than others. Bedwetting may be hereditary, it depends on each case individually. Whatever the reason children who wet the bed and/or wet in the daytime should not be treated any differently than children who don`t and under no circumstances whatsoever should they be punished or made fun of or called names like pee-pee pants or diaper baby.