Bed Wetting

should you try to Shame them about it-----like buy cloth diapers and Make them wash them when they wet the bed??

My son is 9 and still wetting his bed its horrible he cant go to sleep overs any more because the parents and kids complain. Reading this artical help me and my son achieve effective solutions

After reading the various comments on this discussion board, I thought it extremely compelling to comment myself! I am 23 years old in my last year of my bachelor's degree at a state college, I have lived in dorms, been married and divorced, gone to summer camps and bivowack in military school during my high school years, I am currently living with and sharing the same bed with my boyfriend. I am 23 years old and I still wet the bed at least two-three times a month. I know, I can't believe it either. You can imagine how I felt growing up spending the night at my friends, camping with other highschool students, being in my marital bed or in a dorm room with another girl, and most recently sharing a home with my wonderful forgiving boyfriend when I wake up in a puddle of my own urine. I'm heartbroken and nausious every single time. EVERYTIME JUST HEARTBROKEN!!! Right now the hateful words of that 'confused' mother with the eight year old are running through my head and it breaks my heart into bits and pieces. Do you think at the age of 23 that I'm looking for attention from all the people who have been exposed to my noturnal enuresis? Honestly, what kind of attention do you really think I, a bed-wetter, am seeking? I have been to doctor after doctor, from urologists to chiropractors to therapists, nothing has worked. i believe that the only reason I don't do it every night, which has only happened in the last year or two, is because I sleep a little lighter, that must be it. No one could wake me up as a child and nothing ever disturbed me in my sleep....everyone used to joke about how I slept like a log, that must be the answer. In my search for a cure for this emotionally dibilitating disfunction I have heard every reason under the sun, including the oh so popular "laziness"! Frankly, I believe it's the doctor's laziness that blamed a child for something so dreadfully embarrasing. Explain to me how I'm being too lazy to get up and use the restroom in the middle of the night yet I'm having to do a load of laundry at three, four, five in the morning, every morning!! That just doesn't make sense! And shame on the parent that takes that reasoning as a tangible exscuse for why their child hasn't seen a dry night in months! Pardon my language but I say, bull shit! That is, again, laziness on the part of the parent as well as extraordinary irresponsibilty!! After I reached a certain age, probably twelve, my parents stopped taking me to the doctor to find a cure because it wasn't their problem anymore, they weren't having to help me get back to sleep as soon as possible, they weren't having to do the laundry anymore, they weren't concerned as long as the issue was out of sight. In fact my dad only realized recently I was wetting the bed still because I used his washer to do my bed clothes when mine wasn't working. He said "didn't you just wash your sheets a couple of days ago?" I said, "yeah but I had an accident last night." he responded astonished, "what? I thought you stoped having accidents 13 years ago?" I looked at my father in almost complete disbelief at the statement he had just made (the look on his face was similar to mine) and said "no, dad unless I took my medicine" (which I can't take every night because it can cause kidney trouble and more often than not, bladder infections. I'm sure most of you are familiar with oral and nasal ddavp) "I've had an accident almost every not for the last thirteen years!!" I think at that point my dad was broken hearted. I think he realized that he and my mom and two step parents had dropped the ball, they let me down, they weren't responsible, and most of all when they handled it, they handled it incorrectly. I was one of those kids that endured the barratting, degrading, damning comments and yelling. I was punished. I was scolded....and for what, sheer embarrasment because they were flippin frustrated! Give me a break! to the mother with that poor little eight year old girl, I too had accidents at school because the after school program wouldn't let us go to the bathroom! I never did it during the school day, only at night and at our after school program! So, one suggestion I do have for you is to really ask how often they let her go potty, more often than not school teachers and care givers will not allow smaller children, say age eight, go to the restroom when they have to because they can't go by themselves if the potty is outside the classroom and sometimes might play in the water and make messes or get sidetracked, so, potty breaks are restricted to when there is a group or there is another teacher/caregiver for relief so that the other can supervise potty breaks. I garantee you that your kid is not going to the restroom when she needs to, but not solely by her own accord! I used to tell the teachers several times that I had to go but it was during other activities so I would have to wait, I'd just sit in the plastic chairs and pee....what else was I supposed to do, THAT WAS SECOND GRADE!!! Now, tell me that was my fault. I'm also compelled to inform you that there is serious detriment cause when you harass your child about having an accident, she just wet her bed, she already knows youre disappointed, she's disappointed in herself for God's sake, now you are kicking her when she's down. Not only will this little girl lose respect for herself, she'll have a terrible self image, low self esteem and whether she wants to or not she will hold you responsible and she'll never have real respect for you! Do you realize the implications of messing with a kids head at an early age. I guarantee that little girl or any child that is punished and embarassed about bed wetting by there parents will misbehave and act out as adolescents, teenagers and young adults, all in efforts to feel the glorified feeling of acceptance. It is not far fetched to blame any acting out I did in those years on the fact that my parents tore me down about bed wetting on a regular basis. Take it from me, I know...remember, 23years of experience!!! I can't tell you how to cure it, i can only tell you to be compassionate and caring, be active in finding a solution, don't put it on the back burner, address it early and thuroughly, and put yourself in your child's position, think about how you would like your parents to deal with the situation. Think about how horrible your little blessing might feel.....and one more thing, if you think that your child might be wetting the bed or acting out for attention, you should probably give her the attention she's craving! Stop being lazy, do your job as a parent, she didn't spread her legs and invited herself into the world, and if you can't handle her find someone who can and wants to, you can adopt children at any age, as far as I'm concerned, youre an unfit parent if you aren't willing to address medical issues appropriatly and without mallace! And! Fire the idiot doctor who was lazy enought to tell you that your daughter was lazy and stop being lazy yourself! Grow up and man up if you ever expect your kids to! -Shannon 23 (bedwetter)

To the person who "had an overactive imagination" I also had the "potty dream" every night, but I never interpreted it that way. I think, rather, that my need to urinate, coupled with being in REM sleep at the time, and my urgent desire not to wet the bed "again" made me have a dream of getting up and going to the bathroom. I was just too deeply asleep, in REM sleep, when the urge hit, to actually wake and do it. I think you dreamed it because you needed to go, not needed to go because you dreamed it. :)

There is so much misinformation surrounding bed wetting! Even doctors often recommend 'lifting', restricting water, waiting for him to 'outgrow it'.. the methods to fix bed wetting are well proven and readily available. The treatments systematically address the most common factors in the wet child: deep sleep, small functional bladder capacity, food sensitivities, bowel irregularity and psychological issues.

to the mother with the 8 yr old, that is so sad that you would treat her like that. And maybe if you didnt talk so negative about your child then you could help her get over her wetting the bed problem. And by you saying these things to her or about her now your just hurting her more than helping her. And you are also hurting her self asteem and she will possibly grow up to dislike the person that she has become cause her mom always tells her such negative things about herself. From the sounds of it YOU NEED THE HELP AND NOT HER.

My daughter is 15 years old and is still occasionally wetting the bed, why? She says she doesn't feel it, like...she doesn't feel that she needs to wake up and go to the bathroom. This problem is messing with her social life, and I don't know what to do..Help?

I have to respond to the "mother" (there are other words to describe her. . .) who had an eight-year old bed-wetter. (3/18/09). Very likely SHE is the cause of her daughter's bed-wetting problems. I also had the same problem as a little girl (same age!) and I can tell you the LAST thing I wanted was to wake up in a puddle of urine! And then to be ridiculed and treated like I did it on purpose, was absolutely humiliating! I ended up 'curing' myself later when I read that a great deal of these problems are caused by a weak bladder muscle. I began an exercise of holding it during the daytime a little longer (not TOO long) and eventually, the problem went away. However, the pain of having a mother's rage and ridicule has lasted years (and I'm now 59!) I had no problem with my own little ones and bed-wetting. If they did have an 'accident' it was no big deal. I'd help them get dry and cozy and back to sleep with a kiss and a hug. To that frustrated woman . . .DO YOU REALLY WANT TO RISK THE LOSS OF A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR DAUGHTER BECAUSE OF YOUR OUTRAGEOUS EXPECTATIONS OF HER? Shame on you!

To the "So called Mother" who's post dated 3/18/2009. What school did you graduate from? or did you? As you wrote at the end of your post, "3 Words", Um I beg to differ, that's 7, stupid. Your daughter would not know to clean herself if she has a dirty example to follow, Poor you... that she is not self sufficient. She may very well be peeing the bed for attention, or that she is so worried about making a mistake around you. Man, you must be so perfect, I bet you spit out your kids like bullets, being that you could turn coal into a diamond. What do you do when your baby does not sleep through the night? Don't bother explaining, I'm sure it is similar to your 8 year olds story, let me guess, the little one needs attention. You are posting your weakness as a mother, and I hope by the Grace of God you see one day what you are mentally doing to your 8 yr old. Maybe when your daughter is grown, she'll grow up to be just like you...and when you need assistance as a senior citizen, because your wetting your bed, she'll put you up in a nice old folks home so you can get all the attention you deserve. Best wishes to your children

This is directed to the writer from 3/18/2009. I am a mother of a 4 year old daughter and 11 year old step daughter. My youngest has had a few problem times, she was also potty trained around 18 months old and did great for a fairly long period of time. I returned to school to finish my nursing degree and she began bedwetting. At first I thought it was emotional and was bothered and could not figure out what to do. After time I figured out that while a was trying to keep life as normal as possible while working a full time job and going back to school it was still changing the way her routine went. I noticed that it was on the nights i was in class were the night she had accidents. Come to find out her dad was not being as strict about her drinking right before bed and she was sometimes even going to bed with a drink while I was gone. Listening to what you wrote hurts me to hear. I have never told anyone this before but you are a HORRIBLE MOTHER!!!! If you downgrade your child to her face the way you have here it will be a miracle that she manages to have any selfesteem and turns out decent. And if by chance she does it does not sound like it will be from any help fro you!! I have to love your child unconditionally. You can not trade them in for the new model when you have a new baby! I hope someone can make up for your stupidity and the poor child turns out ok. - K.Davis

I read many of your articles regarding treatment for bedwetting and felt inclined to respond. I work with the Enuresis Treatment Center, which deals only with bedwetting cases. We have treated thousands of children, teenagers, and adult bedwetters, tracking all related symptoms. Our extensive research validates bedwetting as a problem caused by abnormally deep sleep, which doesn’t allow for the bedwetter’s brain and bladder to connect so they can effectively respond to each other. In 99% of all bedwetting cases, (based upon our research of tens of thousands of documented cases) the root cause is sleeping so deeply. It is an inherited deep-sleep disorder that results in bedwetting and more importantly...a non-restorative, unhealthy sleep. This compromised sleep can also result in daytime symptoms; difficulty awakening, fatigue, memory difficulty, irritability, difficulty concentrating. These symptoms can increase as a bedwetter reaches adulthood. There is No guaranteed that someone will outgrow bedwetting, in fact after the age of seven, it is less likely. 1 in 50 teenagers, as well as 3.2 million reported cases of adults still wet the bed. More importantly, if someone were to outgrow this problem, they are then left with a sleep disorder, along with possible challenging symptoms that can no longer be treated. Proper treatment is never simple. Self-treatment programs alone do not address the sleep disorder. Studies show a very high rate of bedwetting relapse with alarms, which gives another failed experience. Bladder capacity and proper muscle strength must also be included during the course of treatment, regardless of the age, to ensure all bedwetting/sleep disorder symptoms’ are completely addressed. Psychological counseling has not been proven to end bedwetting. Neither has hypnosis, chiropractic care or homeopathic remedies. Many medical professionals misinform patients when they blame a small bladder as the cause of bedwetting. It is actually a RESULT of the bedwetting. Moreover, restricting fluids causes further underdevelopment of the bladder, as well as dehydration. If drugs are prescribed or considered to be at all effective, consider that once the drugs are discontinued, the bedwetting will likely resume. Drugs may serve as a temporary fix for a complicated problem, and drugs clearly produce side effects, some as yet unknown. For 34 years, the Enuresis Treatment Center has been ending bedwetting for children, teenagers, and adults who thought there was no hope. Our research and experience has validated that bedwetting can be treated without drugs or invasive surgery. The internet offers a great deal of information about bedwetting, unfortunately most of it is offered from sources that do not specialize in bedwetting treatment. When researching treatment programs, we suggest parents, or an adult seeking help, ask for references and check staff credentials. This will give better insight as to success and lasting results of a bedwetting treatment program. Sincerely, Lyle Danuloff, Ph.D.

My daughter is 8 years old and only started this about 6 mths ago, that on top of being too lazy to clean herself when she goes to the bathroom its a totally annoying and stupid problem. She was trained at 18 mths and had no probs till then. she seems to think she will get positive attention when she does it. She lies, steals and pees to bed since i had a new baby,she gets everything she wants and more... you mean to tell me she is embarassed thats crap... she is jelous and figures that everything should be her. i am starting her on diapers again and she will wear them to school, that will cause embarasment i know but this is not something i will tolerate. She gets all the attention possible from 3 adults now on a regular basis and you mean to tell me that bed wetting is to be tolerated. 3 WORDS... NOT A CHANCE" IN HELL OR ELSEWHERE...

i wet the bed every night and day I were depends night safty they keep me dry

I believe the book is No More Bedwetting by Dr Samuel J.Arnold

goodNites and UnderJams are Diapers (pull-om) just like the kind You either pin or tape on a bedwetting child at night. Restricting or halting fluid intake betweet after supper and bed time causes the child who bedwets to think there`s something wrong with that[ bedwetting]: That`s not true, We all grow at our own pace; upto and including various organs, tissues and muscles[ kidneys,bladder,bladder capacity, fluid retention, etc.] some faster or slower than others. Bedwetting may be hereditary, it depends on each case individually. Whatever the reason children who wet the bed and/or wet in the daytime should not be treated any differently than children who don`t and under no circumstances whatsoever should they be punished or made fun of or called names like pee-pee pants or diaper baby.